Monday, July 11, 2011

      It's about 120 degrees here in Austin.  My skin is turning dark.   I've been working ALOT: cooking and cleaning for an inspiring person and cocktail waitressing at a sleezy club not far from my pad. When I'm not at either, I'm drawing, inking, planning art and painting with Geoff. Life is good. Also, I am very excited to start school in August for my Bachelors in Visual arts.  
      Here are the first six pages of the comic that I've been helping with. Geoff wrote and directed it. I have been helping make it beautiful, which is fun and fulfilling. I can truly say that I've never been in a more artistically satisfying relationship.  We create things together, critique each others work, and inspiration comes through this process. What we have is different then anything I've experienced in the past. Usually relationships are destructive, where ours is constructive. It's kind of neat.

      The rest of the story is coming soon!

      And here are some ideas out of my sketch book.  

        These aren't the right seven sins, but I'll work out the details later.

              An idea for a painting.

        An angel whose body was found in a Playboy magazine.


          A raw dog food logo starring Rocky.   


       A trippy tree.

      I have plenty to think on right now. While I remain relatively composed, many people I love are having a hard time. They're either sick, miserable, fucked up on drugs, mentally unstable, or all of the above. They don't trust their realities because all they've been shown is hostility.  They've been let down by life. I can relate, but what is the difference between them and me? Why am I ok while they're not?  I used to be a lot worse off, mentally and physically.  What has changed?  I refuse to believe I have simply grown up. It's more that I went through an ultimate metamorphosis. Four years ago, I was a self destructing monster, Now I'm a college graduate, but far better than that, I am able to feel happiness and love when it's deserved where before I could not.
      I have found sanity possible only by constant maintenance. I have to consistently practice honesty especially with myself. I have to quiet my mind through meditation and breath whenever I have a chance. I have to continually remind myself that I am not the center of the universe.  I have to remember what I am grateful for everyday. I have to listen to my heart when it's screaming at me.  I must not run from any part my past, but embrace it. Most importantly, I can't hold on to my hate.  If I hold on to resentments, they'll eat away my heart and mind. 
     This process has all to do with learning who I am, learning what I am comfortable with and what I can't stand. It involves writing about and dissecting scenarios to understand them better, rather than turning my back on an issue because I am uncomfortable or scared. It involves loving myself well enough to know how to really love myself. If I fall from my regimen of self truth, exploration and love than it's only a matter of time before a downslide.
      I am determined in my steps away from oblivion, my  strides toward truth and peace of mind.  I don't want to judge my reality any more as good or bad. I want to accept reality fully and that includes accepting that others are suffering while I am not. I can't do anything to fix it.  We all have our time to shine and to suffer.  Why would I want to deny them their destinies and lessons anyhow?


  1. Aww, so beautiful Gewel, I'm so freaking happy for you. <3 You're an incredibly strong inspiration, even from afar, a source of hope. It's awesome to see what you're working on, and that's so cool that you and Geoff are collaborating!!! <3!! I love you Gewell~~~

    oh! and Rocky looks AWESOME. <3

  2. I love my Pandita!!! You are also strong and inspirational (that's why I love you so much) . It makes me very happy that I can share some hope. Hope is a hot commodity these days :)