I'm graduating from the Community College of Vermont in the beginning of December. I thought I would be a bit more excited than I am.

        I'm blaming my disenchantment on my unpreparedness: I had all summer long to decide where I want to go for my Bachelors, but like the Gemini I am,  I procrastinated until fall.  Now I feel too rushed to make a proper decision and my choices here, as far as where to go, are bleak.

        UVM Has amazing studio space and teachers who are showing at the Met, but they only offer a liberal arts degree (BA), while Burlington college offers the degree I want (BFA), but lacks in studio space and a strong visual arts faculty. Johnson has a really awesome art program, but they're in the middle of freaking nowhere. Lame. Lame. Lame.

        Some of my allies here at CCV have tried to calm my nerves about the subject insisting that there is no difference between the BA and the BFA.  I mean, after all, it's only a letter right? Wrong! I looked it up!  One thing that I learned from college is not to take any one's word on anything.  Look it up! That's what the Internet is for. I found this information on this website.

                                            http://www.aicad.org/whatsbfa.htm

          ALL undergraduate college degrees, the BFA included, must have a general studies (liberal arts) component. The difference between a BFA and a BA is in the ratio between art and design, and general studies. In a BFA approximately two-thirds of the course work is in the "creation and study of the visual arts," with the remainder in general studies (literature, history, sociology, etc.). In a BA approximately two-thirds of the course work is in general studies, with the remainder in visual arts.
          AICAD believes that neither degree, BFA or BA, is inherently "better" than the other. The judgement of which degree is best for a particular student depends almost entirely on the student's educational goals. However, AICAD does believe that the BFA is the most appropriate degree for serious, motivated students seeking to become professional artists and designers. With its specialized focus, a BFA degree program will tend to attract highly talented students and faculty, and to generate great intensity and commitment among its students and faculty.
         Finally, it should be noted that the basic structure of a BFA degree (one-third liberal arts, two-thirds visual arts) DOES NOT change from one type of college to another. The ratio between these two curricular components in a BFA is the same anywhere; a large university, a comprehensive four-year college, or a professional art college like those in AICAD. Contrary to some impressions, one does not get more liberal arts if the BFA is taken at a university versus an art college. One gets more liberal arts by taking a BA degree rather than a BFA. It is the type of degree, not the type of college, that determines the amount of liberal arts (para.3-5).

        In response to the stress from having to make decisions too fast, I have decided to take the spring off as an in-between-the-degrees-break and return to an undecided as of yet University for the fall.  This break will officially be called "field study" and will include activities such as gallivanting through the desert, picking sage, swimming naked, collecting sun bleached bones, meditating on inner peace and making music.


       But first a lot of good old fashioned work needs to be done.  I have to bust some #ss to make a bunch of money to live on right after the papers are all done being wrote. I am a bit nervous about loosing my academic momentum, but thoroughly excited to get a lot of painting and drawing done in between some wo-manual labor. I have five paintings that are screaming for attention. I am also looking forward to being in the south for the Christmas and New Year. It will be nice to see my mother and brother as well as my southern comrades. My heart aches for beaches and palm trees.



Here are some shots of the WW1 pieces  I've been working on for my end-of-the-degree paper/project. The lighting was different for each photo.

And here it is done! Though I can't say I'm too happy with it anymore.  I don't know if other artists feel this way, but I often feel disgust for my work after its finished. It's only when it takes a really long time to finish. Not to be gross, but If I could compare this feeling to anything, it would be closest to an unwanted orgasm: inadequate, embarrassed, awkward, regretful, and exposed.

Here is the same image inverted in photoshop. This is proof to me that winter is making me crazy.

Here is a collage I made last Wednesday.  I like it. The red on her brush was left over from the soldier's eyes. It was really cheating to play around with this because there are so many other things to do to finish up the school thing. Oh well.

Back to art that makes me feel gross..... This sign. It's almost done though.

See! Almost.  Not quite though.

Are here's me looking all tough with safety goggles on.

 mmmm......sander

Bite his face Molly!!

For me, enlightenment has been the process of losing the biases I developed from my past. My judgment was clouded by the very act of living. No one is exempt from their knowledge being clouded by their experience..